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Surrogacy is the act of one woman becomes pregnant for the benefit of somebody who cannot. The woman, or couple that the surrogacy is for are called the commissioning couple and the adult female carrying the child is the surrogate. Asking somebody else to have a baby on your behalf is normally as a last resort but even so, the decision to do this should be considered carefully. Normally, surrogacy is used if intervention by In Vitro fertilisation has failed or a medical problem prevents the adult female from becoming pregnant, or could be risky if she did.

Without doubt, the most serious aspect of this process is the dedication by both parties not just now but also in the future and the understanding of its implications. This is why it is so essential to discuss these through with an experienced counselor before you start the surrogacy process. Another serious consideration is the legal aspect and advice in this are should be sought early on as well. If the process is to be executed at a fertility clinic then all parties including partners on both sides, if there are any, will have to go through all the normal processes that would be implemented if fertility treatment were being employed.

There are two ways of having a child with a surrogate: you can use sperm from a male partner, if you have one, and the surrogate’s eggs. In this case, fertilisation is usually done by artificial insemination or by Intrauterine Insemination. The second method involves using the commissioning mother’s eggs (or donated eggs) and the man partners sperm. When this method is chosen then In Vitro fertilisation is employed but the procedure must be implemented at a approved clinic.

Trust is essential, not least because you will need to harmonise on issues like antenatal testing - for example, for Spina Bifida or Down’s Syndrome - and resolve what you will do if the baby had a congenital problem. A good pregnancy and birth are also a condition when selecting the surrogate. Try and get support, if possible from friends and relations, because it is stressful both emotionally and physically. Both the clinic used for the treatment and the hospital used for the birth must be sympathetic towards surrogacy. The law involving payments to surrogates varies around the globe so be sure of what your fiscal obligation is before you go ahead with this life changing decision.

It doesn’t take place often but the surrogate mother may change her mind about giving the baby over to the commissioning couple, even if the child is not related by blood to her. This can be a damaging turn of events for everyone and a very sound reason why there is total trust and dedication between all the parties involved right from day one.